“Now the full number of those who believed were of one heart and one soul, and no one said that any of the things that belonged to him was his own, but they had everything in common.” - Acts 4:32
Exactly eight nights ago I laid in my comfortable bed in my own home, and I decided that I had changed my mind. I did not want to go any more. I had felt led to this project laid on my heart by God months ago and had spent months raising support, but now my attachment to the comforts I had at home was hardening my heart. I had signed up to go on this trip because I wanted to give three weeks of my summer to God to see how he would grow me. I wanted to lay down my wants and my desires and follow Christ. However, the idea of living and breathing and eating and sharing and spending about every waking moment with 30 people I didn’t know was still terrifying. For someone who schedules every minute of her day, the thought of relinquishing control of my schedule for three weeks was one that made me anxious about going.
I like to have control; I like to have space, and I like to have my things be my things, and your things be your things. I like to keep the parts of my life that are messy and ugly to myself. But, that’s not how God calls us to live. He calls us to live in community and that’s not to our detriment. In the last week, God has shown me that more joy can be found when you drop your attachment to your things and your time, and recognize that they ultimately belong to God. Healing can be found when you stop trying to have your life look perfect and honestly confess your struggles. God has made it clear to me that he perfectly orchestrated the community that I would live in a house with for three weeks. He intended for each of us to be together to worship Him, to love Him, and to love each other well, and to grow each of us.
Sydney - University of North Carolina